Published: 08 Jan,2019. Last updated: 03 Aug, 2019
"Happiness is being Single. No drama, no worries, no pain. You do what you want, go where you want, at what time you want, without the restraints and constraints that those unfortunate enough to get married experience."
Truth is, Singleness is challenging. Being a Christian Single is a life with unique challenges.
Some challenges are quite obvious. Sexual needs, the desire for acceptance and respect, issues with self-esteem et cetera. That's why there's such a rush for marriage.
Then there are other challenges with interpersonal relationships, finding direction in life, self-improvement etc.
If you are single again after having been married, or you are a single parent, you may have challenges that other singles hardly sympathize with.
So, acknowledging the challenges of being a Christian single is facing the reality and refusing to play the game that says it is happy being single and free. It is not.
These challenges of the single life are the one reason why I decided to talk about pursuits that I strongly believe can make singleness a less difficult life and more of a state offering unique opportunities for a spiritually and physically rewarding life.
These are not the only pursuits for a less challenging singleness, but I believe they are the most important. They supersede every other pursuit.
I confidently believe that if you conduct your life this way, you will so cherish singleness that marriage would be approached with maturity. You don't have to seek marriage because your life is miserable. You don't have to seek a mate to you feel important.
Being Single is an advantage. Right now you are free of the responsibilities of a spouse and a parent (if you have no children). That freedom offers you the opportunity to set your life on the right course which doesn't have to change when you get married.
This is not the time to go about gloomily, waiting for your life to blossom only in marriage. It is the unique moment to set your life on track.
There are thousands of Christian Singles living for the Lord, experiencing fulfilled and satisfied singleness, whether as a permanent or as a transitory state. You can be one of them if you're life has the right focus.
In this post, I have written more about pursuing an intimate relationship with the Lord and how that benefits the Christian unmarried person specifically.
You will find the challenges of being a Christian Single hard to bear if you do not pursue and cultivate a vibrant relationship with the Lord where you talk to the Lord and hear Him talk back to you through His Word and in your born-again spirit.
It becomes easy to give in to temptation and compromise when God is not the first priority in your life.
Personally, my greatest challenges of being single have come when I allowed my relationship with the Lord to suffer. When honoring the Lord was not the priority in my life.
It is the same pattern in the many Christian Singles I've interacted with. Societal opinion and pressure, family pressure, cares of this life and various forms of distractions contribute immensely to making the single's life challenging.
But that doesn't have to be if you pursue the Lord with all your heart; if living for Jesus is the purpose of your existence.
No matter the advice you can get from well-meaning believers, the majority of your challenges will be handled (or mishandled) by the state of your relationship with God. If the closet suffers, your challenges increase, and are more likely to overwhelm you.
Here is one claim I made about purpose
"One reason why many Christian Singles feel frustrated, stagnated and generally unmotivated towards life is because they haven't discovered God's plan for them. They haven’t found purpose, that thing that makes you want to get out of bed and pursue yet another day of creating impact in the lives of others."
You will find singleness satisfying and fulfilling when you seek to find and follow your God-given purpose. You don't have to wait till marriage to live an impactful life. Right now God wants your life to be counting for something.
...your pursuits. This can be a time of living for the Lord, being a blessing to others around you, or it can be a terrible experience, a life of resentment, desperation and fatal mistakes.
It is a fact that every Christian who (found) finds singleness satisfying (was) is one with a passion for intimacy with the Lord and the fulfillment of their God-given purpose.
You too can have the same experience. May the Lord encourage your heart to seek Him more and to understand His will for your life
Janet is a Christian with a knack for writing. She's passionate about encouraging the pursuit of God and a life of purpose.