Proper Christian Dating Behavior

Proper Christian dating behavior doesn't just happen.

As Christian Singles, we're all want to conduct our dating relationships in a godly way. We all want to follow biblical guidelines and keep to safe boundaries.

The purpose of this post is to iterate proper Christian dating guidelines but also to show you ways to enforce it.

This is important because many times, people know what is right, but are ignorant about how to go about it.

Probably you know someone, or even yourself in a past relationship, where you didn’t pay attention to proper behavior.  Or maybe, you're in a relationship right now where they're no godly boundaries.

And things have messed up like for this lady who shared her dilemma on a Facebook page.

In her own words, she was a Christian, dating an aspiring minister.  As their dating relationship progressed, sex came into the picture, resulting in a pregnancy.

Afraid of marring his public image with a pregnancy out of marriage, and also not yet ready for marriage, the minister in the making asked the woman to go for an abortion.

She refused, and he threatened to break up the relationship, claiming she showed signs of disrespect for his authority as a man.

The young woman, still in love with him, was torn between the options available to her, even though the answer was simple: it was an ungodly relationship from which she should have run away when sex before marriage came into the agenda.

If we must prepare for marriage  earnestly, we must also take our behavior during dating seriously. The success of our future marriage might just depend on it.

This other couple held onto proper dating behavior and God gave them a testimony out of that experience.

Sometimes, you might not know what your stand for godly principles can bring in terms of influence to other people.

It can be a loud message to other singles, saying, "Hey, things can be done differently. Godly. You don't have to compromise!"

What is proper Christian dating behavior?

The simplest definition is 'behavior that is in line with biblical morality. Behavior that honors the Lord and the standards of His Word.'

General guidelines

I'll come to specific activities to help you enforce proper dating behavior. But before that,it's important to note some general counsel that you need to follow, right from the onset of your relationship.

First, have a road map. What is the aim of the relationship? Where are you headed?

Aimless dating relationships are unlike Christian. Maybe those should be called mere friendships or acquaintances.

But if romantic feelings are involved, it is wise to channel those emotions towards a godly direction.

Perhaps, my culture influences my perspective, but if Christian Singles are to get their dating behavior from biblical guidelines, we'll never endorse dating relationships that go nowhere beyond butterflies in our stomachs. And some Facebook status updates.

A Christian should date with purpose. To seek compatibility for marriage.

Giving out your heart here and there, even if you're not giving out your body as well, before meeting Miss Right or Mr. Right doesn’t speak well of you as a child of God.

You'd carry all these emotional baggage into the life of the one you settle down with.

As a single, one of the best investments you can make in your spiritual life is to be sold out to God, giving Him an undivided attention, and trusting Him to guide you in the choice of mate.

Another important guideline to follow in the pursuit of proper dating behavior is to inform your parents and spiritual leader. These persons help you keep on track and accountable. They are a source of godly counsel.

The last, but not the least, general dating guideline is to set your relationship rules. And keep them!

-No sex before marriage

-Define what levels of petting you'll tolerate. Holding hands? Hugging? Kissing?


Intentional Activities that enhance proper dating behavior

Discuss Scriptures

God's Word has a powerful influence on our hearts. It'll be hard for you to indulge improper behavior if you constantly discuss Scripture with your partner.

Converse on sexual purity. Discuss common beliefs. Discuss doctrine. It'll be helpful to your relationship.

Talk about your future

What type of home do you intend to build? How do you intend to go about it?

Discuss goals in your spiritual life, academics, and careers. Seek ways to achieve them.

Read and discuss books on marriage and parenting.

Pray together

Not inside one of your bedrooms!

Praying together can mean praying for each other at allocated times. Or praying over the phone. Pray for each other to grow in the knowledge of God's Word and of God's will for your individual lives.

Avoid secluded places. Say no to sleepovers

Whether we take note or not, the world watches us and expects godly standards from us. Sometimes you keep to some standard not because the contrary would necessarily cause you to sin, but because you want to develop a good conscience before men.

It is unfortunate that some Christians don't care about conscience. To them, God sees the heart, and man's opinion shouldn’t count.

Dear Christian Single, there are times when man's opinion should count.

You wouldn’t be able to share the gospel to a neighbor who knows you sleep together with the person you're dating. Even if you don't have sex, that neighbor's imagination believes what it believes.

Seek premarital counseling

Counseling sets aside the emotions and helps the intending couple to look squarely at important issues.



Proper Christian dating behavior is comely for you, Christian Single. It helps set your relationship in the right footing.

Go for it. Receive grace from the Lord to honor Him with your choices.

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Janet is a Christian with a knack for writing. She's passionate about encouraging the pursuit of God and a life of purpose.


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