8 Essential Christian Dating Rules

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Setting and keeping to Christian dating rules is important to help you conduct your relationship in a God-glorifying manner.

This list is not exhaustive, but as the title suggests, has touched on the essentials that should keep your relationship in the right track.

Establish the purpose of the relationship

A Christian dating relationship should have marriage as its aim. You may not end up as husband and wife, but that should be your dream right now until circumstances or God tells you to go your separate ways.

Aimless dating relationships are grounds for ungodly behavior. If you're not ready for marriage in the near future (~2-3 years), it is better to focus on what is important now.

Maintain Sexual Purity

Sex before marriage is called Fornication. Fornication is a sin against God and your body.

Right from the early stage of the relationship, establish your boundaries and rules. It is safer to go for very conservative rules.

  • No kissing
  • No late nights
  • No compromising positions
  • No sleepovers together alone
  • Short dating and courtship period
  • No discussions on sexual intercourse (except a few days before the wedding, probably with your counselor)

Other activities to enforce sexual purity:

  • Discuss Scriptures
  • Pray for each other to stay strong in the Lord
  • Have an accountability partner

Inform Your Parents and Pastor

They are among the first people that should know about your relationship.

Early counseling can detect issues that your emotions may ignore.

Informing your pastor can also be good for accountability purposes.

Agree to break up AMICABLY if...

you discover you are incompatible or if the Lord tells you it’s not his will.

Painful breakups are common among Christian Singles and usually result from the unfriendly way the separation is handled. Even if it is a character flaw in your date’s life, let them know why you are backing out.

That should help them work on themselves and give their next lover a better experience.

Discuss your spiritual beliefs

Spiritual incompatibility can breed serious problems in marriage. Can you imagine a husband who believes only in prayer and a wife who believes in medical science and vice versa? Or a man who believes makeup is sinful while the woman can’t do without makeup?

Those are tiny examples of the spiritual incompatibility Christians can face. Discuss your doctrinal stances on major beliefs such as the means of Salvation, Spiritual Gifts and their place today, Homosexuality, Abortion, and other topics you consider important. Then, find a compromise.

If you can’t, walk away and trust the Lord to bring to you a more compatible partner.

Discuss Your Plans

The number of kids, ministry desires, personal development, etc.

Do a Medical Checkup

Do not wait till wedding is imminent. Do a medical checkup earlier, before your emotions become too attached.

Unless you have a clear leading from God, it is dangerous to date and marry someone with medical incompatibilities.

An Important Christian Dating Rule



A Final Word

These Christian dating rules will only help if you enforce them. It is easy to let emotions control you. It is easy to only value all the godly advice out there after you have messed up.

Dating is a special time in the life of every single, but it is also a dangerous time for the Christian Single.

Date with purity and purpose, place God at the center of your relationship, talk about what's important, discuss your future, focus on the essential.

Do not let feelings carry you away. Our world desperately need the example of godly Christian dating that leads to healthy marriages.

So, the last  rule is to enforce the Christian dating rules you already know!


Janet is a Christian who loves to write. She uses her talent to encourage the pursuit of intimacy with God and a purpose-driven life.

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