How to Find a Husband or Wife For a Lasting Christian Marriage

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It is not enough to find a husband, or to find a wife and get married. As a Christian, you should seek a mate with the intention of spending the rest of your lives together.

Before I bring you the story, there are some two important issues I wish to highlight.


To find a husband or wife, you'll have to put God first.

God is the one that brings your spouse to you. This doesn't mean you have no say and no choice. Its means you can trust Him to lead you.

He may lead to you to wait, He may lead you through the path for the one suitable for you.

I find it hard to believe when people say God is not the one to choose your spouse. Of course, you can do the choosing, but those who've put God first have had wonderful testimonies.

Waiting on God can be hard if you are impatient with His ways.

It can be tempting to rush ahead of God and find your husband or wife according to your own wisdom.

Please, don't do that. Believe strongly that God wants you to have the best of marriages. He knows your need. And He's working on it.

I know several people who found their mates by trusting God to lead them to make the right choice. I also have heard of others who went about the business as if God wasn't concerned. They acted in desperation. And they regret their choices.

To Find a husband or wife, it is important to get busy with your Father's business

I am not saying you'll not find a Christian to marry if you're not living a life of purpose.

But busyness with God's plan for your life is a sure way of getting someone suitable for you. If you don't know which direction God wants your life to face, you can get hooked up with someone who may become a hindrance to you serving God tomorrow.

It is my firm belief that God has purpose when He brings two people together. Marriage is not all about sex. A Christian husband and wife come together to fulfill God's purpose for marriage and for their individual lives.

It is therefore important to get someone with whom you can conveniently walk in God's plan for you. It is uncomfortable to have a mate who doesn't encourage you to boldly pursue what God has for you.

A caveat about serving God: If you serve God as a means to get a husband or wife, you'll be disappointed. God wants your total heart. Don't use Him as a means to an end.

I heard the story of a single parent, who having believed she would never find a man to marry her. began to live in immorality even though she was a member of a church. Then she heard another single mom testify of having found a Mr. Right.

The immoral woman said, "If you can find a man to marry, then I can also find one. From today, I will recommit to God."

When I heard that story, I said to myself that it was just a matter of time before she would return to her immorality. God cannot be mocked or cheated. You serve God because His your God, not because you want a husband or wife.

Love Stories are not the same

As you read the story below, as well as other people's stories you may come across, bear this in mind: love stories are not the same. Learn the lessons, receive the principles, but do not dictate to God how to write your own story.

The Matchmaker, a Modern Day Testimony of God's Faithfulness in Finding a Spouse

It was a warm, beautiful day in São Paulo, Brazil, on March 16, 1996. The place was beautifully decorated. The music, the flowers, and the food were just perfect. Our families and friends were together for this important event. We gazed at each other as we said, "I do."

I smile as I think of one of the most wonderful blessings that God has given me: the blessing of marriage. Just recently, as I thought of the blessing my husband, Bro. John, has been to me, the Lord took me back to a Friday night in 1991... That was the night I became faithful to my husband-to-be, not having met him yet. This faithfulness was not only physical, but also a faithfulness in heart and in eyes.

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