This an edited version of appendix 3 of my free ebook, The God-sent Spouse (Fiction)
Here, we shall not only look at "God showed me my future husband but he's in a relationship" but other specific situations Christian Single women face when God shows them their future husband.
I address these worries with caution. I can't be that bold to say this is God, this isn’t God.
The only proof that it is God speaking is when his word comes to pass, but because your present situation could actually be God, my advice is that you lean on the side of caution: Consider that God has not spoken.
After all, if God shows you, he will bring it to pass even if you shelve the revelation. Unless there's something specific God tells you to do about it.
This could be God. This may not be God. Why would he not tell the man that he's in a doomed relationship? Why would God not intervene and tell the guy that you're the right one?
Or could it be the guy is ignoring God's voice and you need to pray more so that he obeys God?
I am not saying that you should pray for him. I'm only unearthing some of the rationalizations Singles usually go for in such situations.
Praying for the man only keeps him in your mind, increasing and prolonging your agony over unfulfilled desire.
What can you do instead?
Consider that God has not spoken. Go about your normal life.
Walk more closely with the Lord, spending time in prayer and the word. Look for opportunities to be active so you don't have much time to isolate yourself and daydream about the man.
Chances are, it is not God talking to you. God is concerned about your maturity, and he would rather be challenging you with opportunities to grow than showing you who to marry while informing you you're not mature.
It is hard to mature when you're being flooded with warm feelings for someone. It is hard to mature when you have a circumstance that is putting pressure on you to mature.
In this case, you would struggle to mature so God can bring that guy into your life. That kind of maturity has no roots.
Rather, walk more closely with the Lord and pray for the grace to get over the romantic feelings.
Chances are, this is not God.
If you're eligible for marriage, God would not punish you with an unfulfilled desire for someone who is not ready or who doesn’t want anything to do with you.
I believe God speaks to both persons. It is an agonizing place to be waiting for someone to make up their minds concerning you.
If there are other persons interested in you, pay attention to them.
Don't reject those who want you with the hope that the one "God told you is going to be your spouse" will finally like you.
As a woman, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage where you may finally remain single.
Accept that God did not speak to you. Learn your lessons. And move on.
Why don't you like them? Because of their low level of education, social and economic status, religious zeal, lack of social skills and etiquette?
Would you like them if they changed? Understand that your mate can improve.
Consider that you also have flaws and need to grow in one area or another. Stop being carnally-minded. Accept God's guidance and help your mate to become better.
None of the above? Then, do not marry them!
After marriage, you would live with them in the same house, have sexual intercourse, wake up every morning beside them, bear children with them.
It is important that you like them, that you have physical attraction for them, that you enjoy being with them.
Do not marry someone simply because "God told you they are your mate."
Parental consent is important and you should seek to have your parents' blessing on your relationship.
Unfortunately, sometimes, parents and even spiritual leaders are selfish and worldly in their counsel. Listen to their counsel and pick out what aligns with God's word. Then you go with God.
Tell me your mind in the comments section below!
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