Living Single - My Christian Experience

book and pen

Living single and victorious as a Christian has been a journey of making mistakes, growing, and finding contentment in this season.

It’s been and still is a time of dealing with the challenges of singleness AND also enjoying its benefits.

In this article, I give you some principles that helped me navigate through the murky season to where I am today—single and contented, even as I desire to be married.

There was a time I hated being single. At nineteen, my anxiety levels were shooting through the roof, and I thought I would develop high blood pressure if I didn’t get married that year.

I was in an environment that lay so much emphasis on getting married and being normal that the drive to conform was high.

I fantasized about marriage all the time and thought of nothing more important the Lord could do for me than leading me to the right one.

Fast forward ten years later, two breakups, and still single when I made a life-changing decision to prioritize the pursuit of God’s purpose for my life.

Things began to fall into place, which made me realize that living single as a Christian while waiting or pursuing marriage doesn’t have to be a passive season or one filled with anxiety and fear.

Your singleness can be a great asset if you know how to make the most of this season. The challenges will not cease, but a right mindset would arm you to face them from a place of victory.

Knowing What the Bible says About Singleness Arms you Against Wrong Beliefs

Have you ever searched to know what the Bible says about being single? I doubt if many singles actually do.

Much of what I knew about singleness was from my environment, sadly a Christian environment, but not the Bible.

Until years later when I learned the importance of knowing and following God’s purpose for me, a great part of my early Christian life held to the view that after salvation and employment, the only next thing I needed to do was get married, settle down, have kids, all the while looking for opportunities to serve the Lord.

That is why when I had a good-paying job, I didn’t expect God to rock the boat. I just wanted to get married.

Nowhere in the scripture do you find singleness implied to be a sin, a punishment, or an inferior, second-best life to be escaped at all cost.

Both marriage and singleness are highly valued by God. Each serves its purpose to the glory of God.

The Lord expects those with a strong sexual desire to seek marriage. Otherwise, it is perfectly normal for a Christian to live single for life.

1 Corinthians 7:7-9

I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.

But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Singleness is a gift. Marriage is a gift. For some persons, singleness is lifelong, for most people, it’s a temporary season.

When you know what the Bible says about singleness, it liberates you from society’s wrong perspectives that push singles towards impatience, anxiety, insecurity, and vulnerability to making bad choices.

God is the Ultimate Source of True Joy in Singleness

Living single will bring seasons of great discontent. Pressure from your body, pressure from friends, family, and society, and the effects of seeing others getting married can team up to make a single’s life miserable.

Philippians 4-6 is a portion of scripture that has saved me many times.

    

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Verse 4 gives the source of our joy—it’s in the Lord. It is not in relationship status. It is not in academic and professional achievements. It is not in our finances or circle of friends. It is in the Lord.

That’s the truest, most stable source of joy because it doesn’t depend on changing circumstances.

Verse 6 tells us how to derive that joy—by making our requests known to God.

Making your requests known to God is different from asking the Lord to give you what you want when you want. As 1 Peter 5:7 says, it is casting our care on the Lord, trusting in His promise to care for us.

The way He chooses to care for our needs might differ completely from what we think we need.

He can choose to meet that need right away, or He can fill your heart with joy and peace, even in the midst of the storm.

Following Your God-Given Purpose Brings Greater Contentment

Have you found God’s purpose for your life? If not, you’re missing out on a lot.

Purpose gives you direction and makes your life count for something so that your reason to live doesn’t revolve around finding a mate.

God created you with a unique plan. You need to understand what it is and to move in that direction.

Purpose also makes you more aware and firm about the qualities to look for in a mate.

Putting priority on God’s plan for your life means you can’t just marry anyone. You’ll need a man or a woman who can accept and encourage what the Lord has called you to do.

A Healthy Self-Worth Produces Healthy Relationships

Before I embraced my identity in Christ and learned to love me before expecting anyone to do the same, relationships used to feel like the best thing to happen to me.

Being a child of God, loved and forgiven by Him, was never enough, it never came close to being loved by a fellow mortal. That is so sad.

That’s one reason breakups were dark periods of pain and confusion for me. Because my validation came from being in a relationship.

God’s love is the cure for our insecurity. When we know how much He loves us, we see how sickening it is to let a fellow human’s acceptance or rejection determine how we feel or see ourselves.

Singles, like everyone else, need to develop a healthy self-worth because a lack of it can lead you to choices you would regret for the rest of your life.

The Challenges of Living Single do no Cease Just Because You've Found joy and Contentment

Living single and contented as you wait for or pursue marriage means facing the challenges of the unmarried life.

Without knowing how to handle those challenges, you might just cut short the benefits of this beautiful season of life.

Those challenges need a separate article, so I’m just going to recommend other helpful articles below.

Living single can be a beautiful season of life. Waiting for marriage doesn’t have to be a time for anxiety and desperation. You can and should maximize your singleness.

Recommended Reading

Sexual Purity, a Battle you can win

Yes, God can Show you Your Future Husband!

How to Stop Masturbating

What to do While Waiting for God’s Timing for Marriage

I also recommend the following video I did on Inspirational Quotes for Christian singles



Sharing is Caring:

  1. Home
  2. Living Single

Janet is a Christian who loves to write. She uses her talent to encourage the pursuit of intimacy with God and a purpose-driven life.

Daily Bible Verse

Recent Articles

  1. Single and Satisfied: Tips from a Single to Other Christian Singles

    Jan 10, 21 09:39 AM

    Single and satisfied, waiting for marriage is possible. As a Christian

    Read More

  2. Yes, God can Show you Your Future Husband!

    Jan 10, 21 02:50 AM

    God can show you your future husband or your future wife. In this article, learn to know it is God speaking to you

    Read More

  3. Living Single - My Christian Experience

    Jan 09, 21 03:21 AM

    Living single and victorious as a Christian has been a journey of making mistakes, growing, and finding contentment in this season. It’s been and still is a time of dealing with the challenges of sing…

    Read More

  4. The Married Bachelor | Christian Short Stories

    Oct 15, 20 07:10 AM

    One of the first distresses I came to grips with during my first year at the Bethesda Clinic in Bamenda was the fact that my wife still had two years of

    Read More

  5. An Unforgettable Handshake | A Christian Short Story

    Sep 13, 20 11:54 AM

    I sat at the back of the hall with my throat bloated like a toad’s. Only the presence of people caused me to blink back my tears. Everyone was on their feet

    Read More

  6. Our New Neighbor's Daughter | Christian Short Stories

    Sep 11, 20 09:45 AM

    The first time she stood before me, all the reserves of my shyness jumped out of my body and stood in front of me like an armor bearer to defend me against...

    Read More

  7. Inspirational Christian Short Stories for Youths

    Sep 11, 20 09:39 AM

    Christian short stories for youths include stories on different themes on issues affecting Christian youths and singles

    Read More