“Should I pray for my future husband?”
If that I in the question is me, Janet, my quickest answer is No. I am a single lady who doesn’t believe I should pray for my future husband. I’ll explain in a moment.
If that’s a general question for every single lady, I would say it depends. Explanation later.
It has troubled me sometimes that I have no burden to pray for the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with, even though I desire to be married.
I once tried to pray for my future husband, but it didn’t feel right. It felt like I was just trying to conform to a popular practice and advice.
I don’t know how to pray earnestly for someone whose identity is unknown to me.
So this is what I did instead and still do. I sought to follow God’s purpose for my life; I pray for myself; I build myself. And I trust the Lord to bring the man who fits me to me.
When you know the direction your life ought to follow and you develop yourself, you do not necessarily have to pray for marriage before you get a husband. Who you are, attracts the kind of person who fits you.
God knows our needs. He knows how to meet them and when to meet them.
While it is okay to pray for our needs, there are some needs that fall into place when you have your priorities right. Your future husband is one of those special needs.
I’m not saying that if you set your priorities right, boom! marriage would come.
I’m saying the necessity for constant prayer ceases once you commit some needs to God and focus on what He wants you to focus on NOW.
Concerning singles, the Apostle Paul says marriage is good—which indirectly commends prayers to be married—and he also emphasizes that a single has the advantage of giving an undivided attention to the Lord.
When you pray for something, your heart tends to want it now. That’s human nature.
So if I should pray for my future husband, not knowing when I will get married, overtime my heart begins to feel anxious, especially if I see friends getting married before me.
It becomes easy to wonder, “What am I doing wrong?”
“Why is it taking forever for the man I’m praying for to come along?”
Because praying for my future husband, a man I don’t know, leads to fantasies about our future home, impatience can grow and I may not wait for God’s timing the right way.
Yes, there’s a wrong and right way to wait on God’s timing for a husband!
I’ve entrusted my desire for marriage to the Lord. As far as I know, I’m not doing anything that should send away guys from me. I believe God knows the guy that fits me.
So I’m using singleness as a season to pursue an intimate relationship with the Lord and to follow His purpose for my life.
I do not believe my lack of conviction about praying for my future husband is the reason I’m still single. Nor do I believe that not praying for my future husband will result in a bad marriage or inability in marriage to pray for my man.
Many single sisters believe they need to pray for the guy with whom they will spend the rest of their lives even if they don’t know what part of the planet the guy is in right now.
Since God knows the guy, these sisters believe their prayers for him are effective.
That’s fine as long as it is done from a healthy mindset, and you are open for God’s will and timing to prevail.
If God has shown you your future husband, that is something else. Knowing the man’s identity makes it easier to intercede for him fervently.
I discourage the following wrong mindsets:
1. If praying for your future husband is a MAJOR preoccupation and the only thing about your prayer life that lights you up, YOU have misplaced priorities. You need to refocus.
2. If praying for your future husband is anchored in the belief that a lack of prayer will result in a lack of marriage, you’re moved by fear, not faith.
Think of non-Christians who do not pray, yet they get married, and some even have loving and lasting marriages than some Christians.
3. If you do not know and don’t care what God’s direction for your life is, you have no business praying for your future husband. God has a plan for your life.
The Lord and his business should be your top priority.
4. If praying for your future husband is causing you to build a picture of a flawless dream man, you need to redirect your focus to more immediate needs around you.
Do not let prayer set you up for disappointed expectations. God does not have flawless sons apart from our Lord Jesus Christ.
Now, if your heart is right, you’re in love with the Lord, and you believe you should pray for your future husband, go ahead. You do not sin!
In the next post, I’ll give you SUGGESTED important prayers.
Janet is a Christian who loves to write. She uses her talent to encourage the pursuit of intimacy with God and a purpose-driven life.
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